Thursday, October 25, 2012
“Children mistakes are not always bad”
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Bullying
"Bully: A person who uses strength or influence to harm or intimidate those who are weaker" -Oxford Dictionary.
Bullying is an attack or intimidation with the intension to cause fear, distress or harm . It says to the victim that " I have a power on you in some ways, I have social power, i am bigger, older or stronger than you". To prove that they attack the same victim repeatedly. They subtly want the victim to feel uncomfortable and helpless. Bullying can be physical, racist, emotional and verbal which can completely knock the victim's self-confidence and self-esteem.
Anyone can be bullied. It could be a boy, girl, or sibling, no matter what their age is, who looks weak, depressed or alone. Similarly, anyone can do bully. It could be the sibling, boys and girls, anyone. Bullying is the equal opportunity for boys and girls. Boys tend to be more physical and aggressive but girls bully with their words by being ruder, subtle, and sneaky. some people do bully to hide their own inadequacy. They can have low self-esteem and feel insecure about who they are. They may also come from a background where that behaviour is not only acceptable, but normal. So they project their inadequacy on to other children by dumping their anger on the victim because of jealously, envy and even rejection.
Their are some warning signs which can give some clues to the parents, that their child is being bullied, are:
1- Victim will be quite in their temperament. They will not go and tell to anyone that they are being bullied.
2-Victim may have poor self-esteem
3-Victim may have friendship difficulties
4-Victim may have lack of assertiveness
How can parents help their child?
If the victim says that they are being bullied, parents have to discuss with them why they think they are. Some children can perceive that they are a victim of bullying when a friend unintentionally ignores them, someone jokes around with them or they are not invited to join in a game. Then, they are needed to be explained, by the parents, the difference between their friends having a joke/teasing them and bullying. And they also needed help to address the problem in the correct way.
When the parents come to know that their dear one is being bullied, they can give tools to the child so that the child feels that he also has some power. And that tool is Brave talk for younger kids and straight talk for older ones. All, parents can teach their children are:
Brave talk: Teach them how to look assertive- Use strong body language (maintain eye contact, firm tone of voice ) and face expressions to match with the message. And use 'I' statements, like- "I really don't like what you said" or "I don't agree with that".
Straight talk: Along with teaching the children of being assertive, also teach them that they can't control anyone but themselves. And that empowers them.
Also teach them positive self-talk (like-i am good and i don't care what they say), get them to speak up (like-leave me alone), when the bully say something like-'you are stupid' then they have to respond with 'Thank you, I know' and after that they could walk away.
Tips for the parents:
1- Respond, don't react- On the overreaction, child will shut down himself.
2-Investigate- Investigate the happening.
3- Stay open- Stay open to know that may be your child did something.
4-Empower the victim-Empower the children by not telling them what to do and what not to do. Encourage them to sort the things out by themselves first.
Ask your child that "do you want me to listen and understand right now or you are asking me for help and to do something?" because sometimes children just wanted to talk about the day and you might get panicked unnecessarily.
To conclude, tackling the problem of bullying is not as difficult as it looks like. The most important thing is the realization that we also have as much power to stop getting bullied, as in the person who is doing the bully.
Reference: "The Parent's Toolkit", Naomi Richards.
http://www.kidpointz.com/
Bullying is an attack or intimidation with the intension to cause fear, distress or harm . It says to the victim that " I have a power on you in some ways, I have social power, i am bigger, older or stronger than you". To prove that they attack the same victim repeatedly. They subtly want the victim to feel uncomfortable and helpless. Bullying can be physical, racist, emotional and verbal which can completely knock the victim's self-confidence and self-esteem.
Anyone can be bullied. It could be a boy, girl, or sibling, no matter what their age is, who looks weak, depressed or alone. Similarly, anyone can do bully. It could be the sibling, boys and girls, anyone. Bullying is the equal opportunity for boys and girls. Boys tend to be more physical and aggressive but girls bully with their words by being ruder, subtle, and sneaky. some people do bully to hide their own inadequacy. They can have low self-esteem and feel insecure about who they are. They may also come from a background where that behaviour is not only acceptable, but normal. So they project their inadequacy on to other children by dumping their anger on the victim because of jealously, envy and even rejection.
Their are some warning signs which can give some clues to the parents, that their child is being bullied, are:
1- Victim will be quite in their temperament. They will not go and tell to anyone that they are being bullied.
2-Victim may have poor self-esteem
3-Victim may have friendship difficulties
4-Victim may have lack of assertiveness
How can parents help their child?
If the victim says that they are being bullied, parents have to discuss with them why they think they are. Some children can perceive that they are a victim of bullying when a friend unintentionally ignores them, someone jokes around with them or they are not invited to join in a game. Then, they are needed to be explained, by the parents, the difference between their friends having a joke/teasing them and bullying. And they also needed help to address the problem in the correct way.
When the parents come to know that their dear one is being bullied, they can give tools to the child so that the child feels that he also has some power. And that tool is Brave talk for younger kids and straight talk for older ones. All, parents can teach their children are:
Brave talk: Teach them how to look assertive- Use strong body language (maintain eye contact, firm tone of voice ) and face expressions to match with the message. And use 'I' statements, like- "I really don't like what you said" or "I don't agree with that".
Straight talk: Along with teaching the children of being assertive, also teach them that they can't control anyone but themselves. And that empowers them.
Also teach them positive self-talk (like-i am good and i don't care what they say), get them to speak up (like-leave me alone), when the bully say something like-'you are stupid' then they have to respond with 'Thank you, I know' and after that they could walk away.
Tips for the parents:
1- Respond, don't react- On the overreaction, child will shut down himself.
2-Investigate- Investigate the happening.
3- Stay open- Stay open to know that may be your child did something.
4-Empower the victim-Empower the children by not telling them what to do and what not to do. Encourage them to sort the things out by themselves first.
Ask your child that "do you want me to listen and understand right now or you are asking me for help and to do something?" because sometimes children just wanted to talk about the day and you might get panicked unnecessarily.
To conclude, tackling the problem of bullying is not as difficult as it looks like. The most important thing is the realization that we also have as much power to stop getting bullied, as in the person who is doing the bully.
Reference: "The Parent's Toolkit", Naomi Richards.
http://www.kidpointz.com/
Monday, August 27, 2012
Practical Thoughts!!
1- "You should try to become your child's friend, but should not try to make the child your friend."~Ankima Kul.
2- I believe that parenting in a positive and practical way can change the child's dimension to see the world!! ~Ankima Kul.
3- "Child's personality is like made up of glass. Parents, please, Handle your child with care." ~Ankima Kul
4- "saying "Relax" with smile n a tight hug is the most precious word which you can use to calm down your child,no matter what the situation is." ~Ankima Kul.
5- "A good person is someone who gives importance and respect to himself without hurting anyone's feeling."~Ankima Kul.
6- "Please, don't break your child's trust by telling them lies for temporary co-operation."
Words really matter for the child if they are from their parents. Parents are the world for their child and someone they trust most. Even a small lie from parents can develop seeds of mistrust for outside world, when he grows up.
~Ankima Kul.
7- "Sometimes it is important to teach our children to be inactive, spend some time alone, take out some time to think about themselves or sit quietly and observe the surroundings. By doing so, they can grow spiritually and be willing to take decisions maturely." ~Ankima Kul.
8- Along with your regular items, always keep a pencil and paper/notebook for your child while travelling. It will help child not getting bored, plus free hand writing/drawing is a great way to develop child's imagination. ~Ankima Kul.
9- "It is very Important to teach our children 'Gratitude' by being grateful of what we have in our lives. It will be one of the most important skills they will have, to find the happiness in life, when they grow up." ~Ankima Kul.
10- “Being able to focus into one thing is more important than multitasking or trying to do many things at a time.” ~Ankima Kul.
2- I believe that parenting in a positive and practical way can change the child's dimension to see the world!! ~Ankima Kul.
3- "Child's personality is like made up of glass. Parents, please, Handle your child with care." ~Ankima Kul
4- "saying "Relax" with smile n a tight hug is the most precious word which you can use to calm down your child,no matter what the situation is." ~Ankima Kul.
5- "A good person is someone who gives importance and respect to himself without hurting anyone's feeling."~Ankima Kul.
6- "Please, don't break your child's trust by telling them lies for temporary co-operation."
Words really matter for the child if they are from their parents. Parents are the world for their child and someone they trust most. Even a small lie from parents can develop seeds of mistrust for outside world, when he grows up.
~Ankima Kul.
7- "Sometimes it is important to teach our children to be inactive, spend some time alone, take out some time to think about themselves or sit quietly and observe the surroundings. By doing so, they can grow spiritually and be willing to take decisions maturely." ~Ankima Kul.
8- Along with your regular items, always keep a pencil and paper/notebook for your child while travelling. It will help child not getting bored, plus free hand writing/drawing is a great way to develop child's imagination. ~Ankima Kul.
9- "It is very Important to teach our children 'Gratitude' by being grateful of what we have in our lives. It will be one of the most important skills they will have, to find the happiness in life, when they grow up." ~Ankima Kul.
10- “Being able to focus into one thing is more important than multitasking or trying to do many things at a time.” ~Ankima Kul.
Saturday, August 18, 2012
Fostering Kid's Success
We as a parent dream our children to have higher intelligence. We wish our children should be smart and bright enough to solve all the problems and be willing to achieve something special. But the question is how can we foster the intelligence in our children?
If parents are asked to answer some of the questions below:
Q-1. Why was the Michel Jackson so successful?
Q-2. Why do Asian kids often outperform American kids in mathematics?
Most parents will answer that "The Michel Jackson was incredibly gifted singer and dancer" or "People from Asia must have a genetic advantage for math." we all think that to be successful we need to be extraordinary talented, isn't it?
But surprisingly, the above statement is wrong. We assume that the behavior we are seeing is explained by the innate or inborn traits. But that is only one part. There are many other factors playing. One important thing is great effort put by parents and kid (for e.g. for honing their skills). This key of success applied with Asian kids in above question. Thomas Edison, once said "Genious is one percent inspiration, ninty-nine percent perspiration." Further, many people may have the same talent and the same trait but not the same luck to take the advantage from the opportunities at the right time.
Recipe of success: Talent, Effort and Luck are the recipe of success. Talent is mostly inborn or hard-wired. For Luck, in most circumstances parents have no control. But Effort includes soft wiring, and is an area where parents can work for their children.
Effort can be done in many ways. Parents can motivate their children to work hard, which is sometimes a reason behind many extraordinary successes. Another very important element is, boosting child's intelligence. Intelligence can be defined as "the ability to do things with reasonable speed and to apply the information to solve the problems." But intelligence is not all hard wired or genetic. It can be earned through experience or soft wiring such as good environment, improved nutrition etc. Intelligence is measured with an IQ score. To raise their child’s IQ parents can also encourage them for physical exercise, provide healthy nutrition and outdoor play, ensure adequate sleep, encourage them to sticking with the task to the finish, let them struggle to solve their own problems and sometimes you as a parent can also solve larger problems with them.
One more element parents can influence to boost their child’s intelligence is to praise them in a right way, which is quite tricky. Parents just need to follow some tips below to praise their children:
By following above suggestions, every parent can raise a happy and successful child.
~Ankima Kul.
Reference: "Smart Parenting,Smarter Kids", David Walsh.
If parents are asked to answer some of the questions below:
Q-1. Why was the Michel Jackson so successful?
Q-2. Why do Asian kids often outperform American kids in mathematics?
Most parents will answer that "The Michel Jackson was incredibly gifted singer and dancer" or "People from Asia must have a genetic advantage for math." we all think that to be successful we need to be extraordinary talented, isn't it?
But surprisingly, the above statement is wrong. We assume that the behavior we are seeing is explained by the innate or inborn traits. But that is only one part. There are many other factors playing. One important thing is great effort put by parents and kid (for e.g. for honing their skills). This key of success applied with Asian kids in above question. Thomas Edison, once said "Genious is one percent inspiration, ninty-nine percent perspiration." Further, many people may have the same talent and the same trait but not the same luck to take the advantage from the opportunities at the right time.
Recipe of success: Talent, Effort and Luck are the recipe of success. Talent is mostly inborn or hard-wired. For Luck, in most circumstances parents have no control. But Effort includes soft wiring, and is an area where parents can work for their children.
Effort can be done in many ways. Parents can motivate their children to work hard, which is sometimes a reason behind many extraordinary successes. Another very important element is, boosting child's intelligence. Intelligence can be defined as "the ability to do things with reasonable speed and to apply the information to solve the problems." But intelligence is not all hard wired or genetic. It can be earned through experience or soft wiring such as good environment, improved nutrition etc. Intelligence is measured with an IQ score. To raise their child’s IQ parents can also encourage them for physical exercise, provide healthy nutrition and outdoor play, ensure adequate sleep, encourage them to sticking with the task to the finish, let them struggle to solve their own problems and sometimes you as a parent can also solve larger problems with them.
One more element parents can influence to boost their child’s intelligence is to praise them in a right way, which is quite tricky. Parents just need to follow some tips below to praise their children:
- Instead of praising the ability, praise the effort: don’t say "you are really smart". Better to say "you really worked hard."
- Give specific praise, not generic: rather than saying "you are good at drawing" say "you really made a beautiful flower."
- Sincere praises would be more appreciable: instead of saying " you lost the match but you played well" say " i know you are disappointed, that was a tough one. You’ve got the next one to try again."
- Don’t overdo the praise: avoid to overdo the praise so that the child won’t be addicted.
By following above suggestions, every parent can raise a happy and successful child.
~Ankima Kul.
Reference: "Smart Parenting,Smarter Kids", David Walsh.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Handling Child Tantrums!!
Handling and nurturing kids is not an easy task. Parents
need lots of patience to deal with their growing child intelligently. The point
to be concerned is how to be patient in the mid of the situation when the child
throws tantrum? It’s difficult to control ourselves to not to react at the
situation and think clearly.
Well, I think it’s difficult but not impossible. Parents need to
focus on what and how they want to convey the right message to their child so
that it can become a part of their values.
First of all, parents should understand that children don’t throw
tantrums unnecessarily. In most cases, there are reasons behind them, like:
tiredness, hunger, and unfilled tank of love and affection. So to understand
those reasons and to your child, parents need to follow the steps below-
1- Calm down and try not to
panic: Mostly every child throws tantrum once in a while. Instead of
thinking what others will say or think, parents should not panic and concerned
the need of their child.
2- Relax yourself: Parents
should relax themselves first, before relaxing their child. Because if you are
relaxed than only your mind will work in the right direction. To relax yourself
firstly, take a deep breath, than pause and once again take a deep breath. Have
some water also if you need.
3- Think clearly: Once
you are relaxed, you can think about the situation, reasons, solutions and the
response you want to give to your child.
4- Respond, not react: There
is a huge difference between response and reaction. When parents reply to their
child without thinking, or on their instinct, is a reaction. Replying after thinking the cons and pros is called Response.
5-Talk about the situation:
Once parent and child are settled, they should talk about the situation. Children
need to learn a lesson from the situation and this will only happen if
parent and child discuss about the reasons, consequences and solutions for what
had happened.
Monday, May 28, 2012
Power of words: "Relax"
Saying "Relax" repeatedly with a smile n a tight hug is the most precious word which
you can use to calm down the tantrums of your child as well as yourself at any time, any place, no matter what the situation is.
And the next step is to listen to your child as much as you can so that they feel empathised and when they feel that they hold an important place in your life and heart, they will start expressing themselves. That is a key to success.
And the next step is to listen to your child as much as you can so that they feel empathised and when they feel that they hold an important place in your life and heart, they will start expressing themselves. That is a key to success.
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Parenting Style According To Your Kids Personality Influenced By Zodiac Signs
Isn’t it quite amazing
that something which is 300 million kilometres away, made up of metal, rock and
gases, called planets and stars, can influence the behaviour and personality of
human beings? Now, the question is “how do they really work?”
Well, every planet has
strong radiations in particular month. And when a child is born under those months,
he is affected by the radiations of the planets in different zodiac sings. That
influences a new born child’s personality traits and makes him different from
others. These zodiac signs are responsible for a person’s personality, talents,
intelligence, physique, characteristics, temperament, and their basic nature.
Indian and western
zodiac traditions have 12 constellations and each of them has their own qualities
and strengths. Parents can use these signs to better understand and help their
child in their lives. These signs are:
ARIES (March 21- April 20):
Aries children are
natural leaders, very energetic, impulsive, self-expressive, passionate,
forceful, independent, like show-off, aggressive, courageous, brave, egotistical,
and strong. They keep themselves first and sometimes cross the limits if
someone challenges them because they like challenges. Aries children are great
to start new projects but not good in finishing them.
Parents need to be
patient and guide their little ones gently and firmly to stay on the task. Aries
have high energy, so parents need to channelize their energy through physical
exercise. Because of their often stubbornness, we also need to teach them the
idea of compromise.
TAURUS (April 21- May 21):
Taurian child is sweet,
cuddly, passive, practical, co-operative, creative, harmonious, beautiful,
affectionate, moderate, indulgent, self-motivated, resistant, sociable, loves
routine, likes to be strong and cheerful, and takes his responsibility
seriously. Taurian is a sensual child who experiences the world through their
senses like taste, touch and experience. They love to eat from the time they
are born, but try to avoid giving them sugary food. Taurians are good at
handling money.
Introduce your child outdoors as early as
possible as they bloom in natural environment. Taurus children won’t be rushed.
This is something you, as a parent, will need to adjust for. In fact, they're
pretty slow. Don't try to pack too many activities into one day because the
likelihood is your little one just won’t get through them all. Security is
their first priority, so they want to be swaddled and held.
GEMINI (May 22- June 21):
Gemini children are
curious, versatile, bright, charming, communicative and sociable, curious and
fully aware of their surroundings. They are witty and adaptable to any
circumstance with a cheerful attitude,
They like new things
and once they master something they will get bored. Parents should make sure
that their child is surrounded with books and puzzles to keep his mind busy and
active. They can change their mind often, so as a parent you should help them
focus and develop a particular area of strength.
CANCER (June 22- July 23):
Cancer children are sensitive,
who learn from their emotional memory. They always prefer home environment
surrounded with familiar things, so, while going out somewhere, parents should
bring something along (like a favourite toy) which gives them feeling of
security.
They like to follow a
routine so as a parent you can give them an unchanging home environment. Cancerians
want lots of affection which gives them emotional security. Besides that they
are caring, kind and a good listener.
They like privacy. When
they are threatened, they normally pull into themselves until they feel
everything is safe again. Parents should let them solve their problems and
should encourage them to talk about their feelings to build up their confidence.
LEO (July 24- August 23):
Leo is the only sign which is ruled by a star and that is “Sun”. They
are well known as a born leader. They have an enormous heart, are generous,
loyal, humorous, honest, enthusiastic, and affectionate.
Leos are like coconut, hard
from outside and vulnerable from inside. They are very sensitive, so, as a parent, you
have to be very careful while talking to your little ones because your one
harsh word can knock down their confidence.
They always seek for
attention and approval. They do best if they are showered with genuine praises
and credits for what they have done. Leo children have a natural dramatic
talent, so they enjoy stage performances and like to dress themselves in
colourful sense of style. Parents need to genuinely reward them for their
strengths as much as possible.
VIRGO (August 24- September 23):
Virgo child has a great
common sense. They give attention to details and that’s why they are known as
perfectionist. They make decisions only after concerning the cons and pros of
the situation. They generally have high
standards and are cautious, so they seem shy.
Virgo children are sharply
intellectual, careful, critical and modest. They love to help others and this
is the quality which parents should encourage. As a parent, to avoid your
child’s over modesty and perfectionism, you should encourage him as much as
possible and pass the message that sometimes good enough is just that.
LIBRA (September 24- October 23):
Peace-maker Libra child
is charming and friendly with everyone. He is connected with their loved ones. Libra
children are not able to express their point confidently in front of others
because they think that others might be hurt. So they become indecisive and always
try to be gentle, polite and try to please others.
A fair Libra child
loves beauty and comfort. They bring people close. As a parent of a Libra your
responsibility is to teach them that being assertive is not bad. Help them to
build self-confidence.
SCORPIO (October 24- November 22):
Scorpio child’s
magnetic personality is full of mystery and secrets. They never expose their
true personality, but there is so much hidden inside their brains that you
shouldn’t be fooled by their calm personality.
They are passionate and
deep thinker. Parents are their first concern to form emotional connection but
you can only understand them if they let you in. Without realising they may
frequently test the strength of this bond to confirm that how much you love
them. They have a natural sense to understand others.
Suspicious Scorpio is an all-or-nothing child, with
almost no level in between, and for both of these levels they become obsessive.
As a parent of a Scorpio child you need to teach them the importance of
forgiveness and balanced relationship. To
channel their focus, teach them to develop any interest and that will be good
for them as well as for others also.
SAGITTARIUS (November 23- December 21):
Children who come under
this sign tend to have positive attitude towards life. They are known as born
adventurers, are full of energy, outgoing and like changes. They want to
explore the world and gain experience.
Sagies are sporty so as
a parent you need to channelize their energy by taking them out for physical
exercise and play. To keep their mind active, you need to arrange lots of books
and trips to zoo, museum, art galleries etc. They need challenges and freedom,
so make sure you give them. Friendly and optimistic Sagis are always surrounded
with people. You can also throw a party for them.
CAPRICORN (December 22- January 20):
The most serious sign, which
is highly ambitious, may think pretend play, hide-and-seek, and dressing-up are
all non-sense and wastage of time. They like rewards, success, and approval and
to get them they work hard. From the
very young age Capris know what exactly they want in their life, and so they
plan accordingly.
Capri child has natural
sense of responsibility, so they can be a responsible older sibling. But as a
parent you should give them some time to play and relax. Also tell them the
importance of being flexible. Shower them with praises.
AQUARIUS (January 21- February 19):
Aquarius children are
different from others. They are original, unpredictable, and marches to the
beat of their own drum. Friendly Aquarians are social, inventive, incredible, and
technical, likes unusual things and attracted to new experiences.
Parents should respect
their individuality and freedom otherwise they will get depressed. These
children tend to be intelligent and problem solver. They can take out their
brilliance when showered with books, art and craft materials and are encouraged
for creativity. As a parent give them plenty of space.
PISCES (February 20- March 20):
Pisces children are a
real dreamer and being a dreamer they mostly live in fantasy. They are
imaginative, intuitive, sensitive, loving, caring, self-sacrificing. They have
lots of empathy for others, and that’s why, until it is too late, they don’t
believe that they are being cheated.
Instead of logic, they
believe in instincts. They have great ideas about the life, but unfortunately
they are not related to reality. As a parent you have to step in when they need
to protect themselves from those who want to take an advantage from them. As a
baby they want an extra affection, cuddles, kisses, and encouragement.
Overall, based on above
discussion, we can broadly draw two conclusions. One, that every child is
different from others, star signs being one of the main reasons. Second, that
because of these differences, each child has his own strengths and weaknesses
and parents should modify their parenting styles accordingly, to make his child
a happy and successful individual.
References:
[1] BabyCenter Horoscopes. http://www.babycenter.in/horoscopes/
[2] Baby's character traits according to his sun sign. http://www.babycenter.in/pregnancy/naming/astrobabes/
[3] Your sunsign. http://www.occultastrology.com/sunsigns/what_does_your_sunsign_say.htmlSaturday, February 11, 2012
Birth Order and Kid's Personality
Sometimes we
wonder how siblings living in the same house with same parents have different
personalities. Birth Order seems to
be the main reason. Does a child’s place in the family really matter?
Well, I
think birth order makes a person unique from others. Factors such as age,
gender and race, shape the personality, but birth order is one of the main
factors which influence the personality most. Giving it importance can help you
understand your kid’s personality so that they can be successful in their own
unique way. Let’s see how your kid’s personality is influenced by their
position in family:
The first born child
First borns
are smarter and have higher IQ than their other siblings. It’s because of how
they are treated by their parents. They have their Mum and Dad to spend more
time since they are born and they used to being the centre of attention. They
spend more time in reading and explaining things to their first born child and
that’s why they achieve high in their life. Parents give them lot of
responsibility at home, like helping in house hold work and watch the younger
siblings, so they become natural leaders. Research says that most of the politicians
or leaders are first borns.Parents should encourage them to understand other's feelings and try not to be bossy.
The middle born child
Middle borns
often feel neglected and not valued because they don’t get much parental
attention as compared to their siblings. They are more close to their friends
because they feel that their family ignores their needs and wants. Middle borns
try to please others to gain attention and avoid confrontation. They are very
down to earth and a good listener. Parents should give them importance and
involve them in discussions.
The last born child
Last born
child gets everyone’s love and attention. They are energetic, full of life and
friendly. They get bored quickly, so they always try something creative. Last
borns have elders in their family to take the responsibilities, which make them
carefree and risk takers. But to avoid carelessness, parents should give them
some responsibilities at home.
The only born child
Only born
child is much similar to first borns. They have difficult relationship with
peers because they spend more time with parents and learn most of the skills
from them, that’s why onlies are more comfortable with adults. They are
ambitious, well organised, demanding and dependent, don’t take criticism well
and their feelings are easily hurt. Parents should make sure that their child
spends time with peers so that he can be comfortable with their age mates also.
The twin children
Twins are unique
in many ways. They look similar but are different emotionally. They are
playmates, friends, and share their secrets and everything. They are dependent
and close to each other, and protect and complete each other. But when they
grow up, they start seeking their individuality. Sometimes one twin leads the
other and the other follows him so they develop very close relationship. If
they have other siblings, twins make them feel jealous because twins want, and
get, more time, energy and attention. Parents should maintain the balance. They
should treat their twins as individuals to make them grow happy. And parents
should individually encourage them to develop their own interests and passion.
Adopted child
If a child
is adopted, they have two kinds of birth order. One is biological birth order,
which they have from their biological mother and second is functional birth order,
which they have with the family that adopted them. For the purpose of
personality development and compatibility, functional birth order matters the
most because their new family is the place where their personality forms. If
the adopted child is biologically the first born but if adopted by a family
where his birth order is last one, then he will have a personality as a last
born child.
With the
above description we come to know that birth order plays an important role in
designing a child’s personality. And some problems which may come can be solved
by good parenting. Following points could be considered:
- Talk and Read a lot: Reading together brings closeness between parent and kid. It will also help in increasing the verbal skills and IQ levels equally among the siblings.
- Give attention to your child: Always give attention to your child to raise their self-esteem and confidence. Make them feel your presence in their lives.
- Make them feel responsible: Give basic responsibilities to your children so that they feel that they are also capable.
- Let your child teach younger sibling: Teaching younger sibling can help both of them in many ways. In most cases, the older child gains most of their IQ from teaching their younger siblings. Besides that, they develop the close bonding.
By taking
care of such things we can make sure that all of our kids grow as good and
happy individuals, together.
References:
[1] The power of birth order. http://www.parents.com/kids/development/social/the-power-of-birth-order/?sssdmh=dm17.561866&esrc=nwpmmdailytip111911&email=1571894838
[2] Why oldest kids are smarter. http://www.micheleborba.com/blog/2011/01/20/today-show-june-26-the-oldest-child-is-smarter%E2%80%A6so-says-the-research/
[3] how your birth order shapes your personality. http://www.ivillage.co.uk/how-your-birth-order-shapes-your-personality/82286
[4] Birth order and you. http://birthorders.com/index.html
References:
[1] The power of birth order. http://www.parents.com/kids/development/social/the-power-of-birth-order/?sssdmh=dm17.561866&esrc=nwpmmdailytip111911&email=1571894838
[2] Why oldest kids are smarter. http://www.micheleborba.com/blog/2011/01/20/today-show-june-26-the-oldest-child-is-smarter%E2%80%A6so-says-the-research/
[3] how your birth order shapes your personality. http://www.ivillage.co.uk/how-your-birth-order-shapes-your-personality/82286
[4] Birth order and you. http://birthorders.com/index.html
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Digital Techonolgy Effect On Kid's Brain
Now a days
people are living in an online world, which makes our lives comfortable and
easy. We can do several works together
as digital devices make our brain sharper and grown.
Research
shows that kids who spend more time with electronic or digital technology respond
more quickly to any visual stimuli, have improved peripheral vision, and are
better able to gain quick information. The growth of digital technologies in
our kid’s lives, like TV, video games, cell phones and the internet, gives both
the opportunity as well as risk. Our
kids may become all-rounder in different fields but may not be an expert in
one. For example, when a kid is checking her text messages or social networking
pages in between her math homework, she constantly loses her focus from her homework
because she keeps her “math chunks” to the side to respond to her friend. Multitasking
loses their speed, accuracy and efficiency.
Studies say
that technologies send mixed messages. They give educational benefits as well
as addiction and chronic distraction. Now we all might be thinking that how the
three-pound wonder on the top of our shoulder, called as brain, works.
Electronic technologies are going to multiply because day by day virtual lives
are replacing real lives in kids. With a
touch of a button they can connect the real world to the virtual world. Kids are
shrinking into their own world and they are not comfortable to express their
emotions and feelings face to face. Many people, who add dozens of friends to
their online life, run the risk of ignoring the real people around them in
their families. They hang out with friends they already know in the real world,
through online world.
Concerning
the pros and cons of online or electronic world in our kid’s lives, we can
limit the media exposure and gain the benefits. A few points could be
considered:
- Get them active at least one hour physical activity every day.
- Make sure they eat nutritious food such as fruits and vegetables, and drink lots of fluids.
- Reduce screen time with active life and real world learning.
- Try that they have one full day, free of electronic devices, at least once a week.
Parents of 21st century should consciously decide how to let their children use the digital technologies for raising successful and healthy kids.
Reference:
" Smart Parenting, Smarter Kids". David Walsh.
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