Saturday, February 11, 2012

Birth Order and Kid's Personality

Sometimes we wonder how siblings living in the same house with same parents have different personalities. Birth Order seems to be the main reason. Does a child’s place in the family really matter?
Well, I think birth order makes a person unique from others. Factors such as age, gender and race, shape the personality, but birth order is one of the main factors which influence the personality most. Giving it importance can help you understand your kid’s personality so that they can be successful in their own unique way. Let’s see how your kid’s personality is influenced by their position in family:

The first born child
First borns are smarter and have higher IQ than their other siblings. It’s because of how they are treated by their parents. They have their Mum and Dad to spend more time since they are born and they used to being the centre of attention. They spend more time in reading and explaining things to their first born child and that’s why they achieve high in their life. Parents give them lot of responsibility at home, like helping in house hold work and watch the younger siblings, so they become natural leaders. Research says that most of the politicians or leaders are first borns.Parents should encourage them to understand other's feelings and try not to be bossy.

The middle born child
Middle borns often feel neglected and not valued because they don’t get much parental attention as compared to their siblings. They are more close to their friends because they feel that their family ignores their needs and wants. Middle borns try to please others to gain attention and avoid confrontation. They are very down to earth and a good listener. Parents should give them importance and involve them in discussions.

The last born child
Last born child gets everyone’s love and attention. They are energetic, full of life and friendly. They get bored quickly, so they always try something creative. Last borns have elders in their family to take the responsibilities, which make them carefree and risk takers. But to avoid carelessness, parents should give them some responsibilities at home.

The only born child
Only born child is much similar to first borns. They have difficult relationship with peers because they spend more time with parents and learn most of the skills from them, that’s why onlies are more comfortable with adults. They are ambitious, well organised, demanding and dependent, don’t take criticism well and their feelings are easily hurt. Parents should make sure that their child spends time with peers so that he can be comfortable with their age mates also.

The twin children
Twins are unique in many ways. They look similar but are different emotionally. They are playmates, friends, and share their secrets and everything. They are dependent and close to each other, and protect and complete each other. But when they grow up, they start seeking their individuality. Sometimes one twin leads the other and the other follows him so they develop very close relationship. If they have other siblings, twins make them feel jealous because twins want, and get, more time, energy and attention. Parents should maintain the balance. They should treat their twins as individuals to make them grow happy. And parents should individually encourage them to develop their own interests and passion.

Adopted child
If a child is adopted, they have two kinds of birth order. One is biological birth order, which they have from their biological mother and second is functional birth order, which they have with the family that adopted them. For the purpose of personality development and compatibility, functional birth order matters the most because their new family is the place where their personality forms. If the adopted child is biologically the first born but if adopted by a family where his birth order is last one, then he will have a personality as a last born child. 

With the above description we come to know that birth order plays an important role in designing a child’s personality. And some problems which may come can be solved by good parenting. Following points could be considered:

  • Talk and Read a lot: Reading together brings closeness between parent and kid. It will also help in increasing the verbal skills and IQ levels equally among the siblings.
  • Give attention to your child: Always give attention to your child to raise their self-esteem and confidence. Make them feel your presence in their lives.
  • Make them feel responsible: Give basic responsibilities to your children so that they feel that they are also capable.
  • Let your child teach younger sibling: Teaching younger sibling can help both of them in many ways. In most cases, the older child gains most of their IQ from teaching their younger siblings. Besides that, they develop the close bonding.
By taking care of such things we can make sure that all of our kids grow as good and happy individuals, together.


References:
[1] The power of birth order.  http://www.parents.com/kids/development/social/the-power-of-birth-order/?sssdmh=dm17.561866&esrc=nwpmmdailytip111911&email=1571894838
[2] Why oldest kids are smarter. http://www.micheleborba.com/blog/2011/01/20/today-show-june-26-the-oldest-child-is-smarter%E2%80%A6so-says-the-research/
[3] how your birth order shapes your personality. http://www.ivillage.co.uk/how-your-birth-order-shapes-your-personality/82286
[4] Birth order and you. http://birthorders.com/index.html

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