Sometimes we
wonder how siblings living in the same house with same parents have different
personalities. Birth Order seems to
be the main reason. Does a child’s place in the family really matter?
Well, I
think birth order makes a person unique from others. Factors such as age,
gender and race, shape the personality, but birth order is one of the main
factors which influence the personality most. Giving it importance can help you
understand your kid’s personality so that they can be successful in their own
unique way. Let’s see how your kid’s personality is influenced by their
position in family:
The first born child
First borns
are smarter and have higher IQ than their other siblings. It’s because of how
they are treated by their parents. They have their Mum and Dad to spend more
time since they are born and they used to being the centre of attention. They
spend more time in reading and explaining things to their first born child and
that’s why they achieve high in their life. Parents give them lot of
responsibility at home, like helping in house hold work and watch the younger
siblings, so they become natural leaders. Research says that most of the politicians
or leaders are first borns.Parents should encourage them to understand other's feelings and try not to be bossy.
The middle born child
Middle borns
often feel neglected and not valued because they don’t get much parental
attention as compared to their siblings. They are more close to their friends
because they feel that their family ignores their needs and wants. Middle borns
try to please others to gain attention and avoid confrontation. They are very
down to earth and a good listener. Parents should give them importance and
involve them in discussions.
The last born child
Last born
child gets everyone’s love and attention. They are energetic, full of life and
friendly. They get bored quickly, so they always try something creative. Last
borns have elders in their family to take the responsibilities, which make them
carefree and risk takers. But to avoid carelessness, parents should give them
some responsibilities at home.
The only born child
Only born
child is much similar to first borns. They have difficult relationship with
peers because they spend more time with parents and learn most of the skills
from them, that’s why onlies are more comfortable with adults. They are
ambitious, well organised, demanding and dependent, don’t take criticism well
and their feelings are easily hurt. Parents should make sure that their child
spends time with peers so that he can be comfortable with their age mates also.
The twin children
Twins are unique
in many ways. They look similar but are different emotionally. They are
playmates, friends, and share their secrets and everything. They are dependent
and close to each other, and protect and complete each other. But when they
grow up, they start seeking their individuality. Sometimes one twin leads the
other and the other follows him so they develop very close relationship. If
they have other siblings, twins make them feel jealous because twins want, and
get, more time, energy and attention. Parents should maintain the balance. They
should treat their twins as individuals to make them grow happy. And parents
should individually encourage them to develop their own interests and passion.
Adopted child
If a child
is adopted, they have two kinds of birth order. One is biological birth order,
which they have from their biological mother and second is functional birth order,
which they have with the family that adopted them. For the purpose of
personality development and compatibility, functional birth order matters the
most because their new family is the place where their personality forms. If
the adopted child is biologically the first born but if adopted by a family
where his birth order is last one, then he will have a personality as a last
born child.
With the
above description we come to know that birth order plays an important role in
designing a child’s personality. And some problems which may come can be solved
by good parenting. Following points could be considered:
- Talk and Read a lot: Reading together brings closeness between parent and kid. It will also help in increasing the verbal skills and IQ levels equally among the siblings.
- Give attention to your child: Always give attention to your child to raise their self-esteem and confidence. Make them feel your presence in their lives.
- Make them feel responsible: Give basic responsibilities to your children so that they feel that they are also capable.
- Let your child teach younger sibling: Teaching younger sibling can help both of them in many ways. In most cases, the older child gains most of their IQ from teaching their younger siblings. Besides that, they develop the close bonding.
By taking
care of such things we can make sure that all of our kids grow as good and
happy individuals, together.
References:
[1] The power of birth order. http://www.parents.com/kids/development/social/the-power-of-birth-order/?sssdmh=dm17.561866&esrc=nwpmmdailytip111911&email=1571894838
[2] Why oldest kids are smarter. http://www.micheleborba.com/blog/2011/01/20/today-show-june-26-the-oldest-child-is-smarter%E2%80%A6so-says-the-research/
[3] how your birth order shapes your personality. http://www.ivillage.co.uk/how-your-birth-order-shapes-your-personality/82286
[4] Birth order and you. http://birthorders.com/index.html
References:
[1] The power of birth order. http://www.parents.com/kids/development/social/the-power-of-birth-order/?sssdmh=dm17.561866&esrc=nwpmmdailytip111911&email=1571894838
[2] Why oldest kids are smarter. http://www.micheleborba.com/blog/2011/01/20/today-show-june-26-the-oldest-child-is-smarter%E2%80%A6so-says-the-research/
[3] how your birth order shapes your personality. http://www.ivillage.co.uk/how-your-birth-order-shapes-your-personality/82286
[4] Birth order and you. http://birthorders.com/index.html
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